The following words come from Eric Ruhalter's The KidDictionary, a website of a collection of words created to describe the indescribable things that kids do. I love these!
UPPTITUDE (Up-tih-twed) n. :
A child's immense desire to be the one who presses the button on the elevator.
In an elevator, getting to where you're going is as simple as pressing a button. Unfortunately, if you have two kids and you're on an elevator, that is a push too few! Unfortunately one of these two is much bigger and faster than the other, so the rest of the elevator ride turns into a two-year old tantrum!
THREEMAGEDDON (THREE-muh-GED-uhn) n. :
The supposed hellfire and brimstone that would erupt if an angry counting mother got to three.
I wish this applied to Pepi. Arin always capitulated before I got to three (making me wonder what I would ever do if he didn't!) but Pepi often just ignores me and makes me chase him around the furniture.
SUPPERCATE (SUP-er-cayt) v. :
To take three bites of dinner and then request desert.
Note that if it's me instead of Mama cooking, then the three bites of dinner will be skipped in favour of declaring dinner to be disgusting and requesting dessert immediately. Even if its just the same lasagne from the box that Mama cooks too.
SLEDENTARY (SLED-en-terry) adj. :
To be so bundled up to face the winter elements that you cannot move.
No amount of heavy clothing in the world will ever slow Pepi down, but Ollie? Kid looks like a fat cushion with two spindly legs sticking out the bottom and his arms sticking out horizontally because he's too bundled up to let them fall at his sides before we let him out during winter. I should be more sympathetic, but watching him topple over into the snow dressed like that is hilarious!
SCOOZER (SKOO-zehr) n. :
A kid who only has something to say to you when you are on the phone or in the bathroom.
Its like an inbuilt-radar-type thing, the minute you're attempted to have an adult conversation or pee in peace, there they are with something that desperately can't wait.
MONOPOLOOZE (mo-NAHP-uh-looze) v. :
To strategically lose a board game to an unsportsmanlike child.
I want to teach the kids sportsmanship. They're not into boardgames yet, but with Pepi, anything can be turned into a competitive game. But usually, he's just not getting the sportsmanship thing and I just can't take it anymore, so I go ahead and let him win.
LULLABYE-BYE (LULL-uh-BYE-bye) v. :
The long delicate process of sneaking from the bed of a preschooler who makes you lay down with them at bed time.
My biggest au-pairing peeve! Pepi always makes you lie down with him at bedtime. There I am imprisoned until he falls asleep and I have to slowly, carefully disintangle myself from him and sneak from the room. It's not easy, and frequently I get caught in the act of fleeing and have to start over.
YUPPING (YUP-ing) v. :
The act of pretending to understand what your yammering 2 year old is trying to say to you.
Ollie has a fantastic mash up of baby words in three different languages, so carrying on a conversation is a bit of a challenge. But not to burst his bubble and to encourage his, I pretend to understand what they're saying and respond. Same applies to Pepi and his new habit of speaking dutch to me. 'Yupping' is very similar to 'smile-and-nodding', used when talking to people in foreign languages.
WHYARRHEA (WHY-uh-ree-uh) n. :
An inquisitive child's string of questions rattled off in rapid-fire succession.
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? I always said I would never answer kids' questions with "just because" but seriously, by the fifth 'Why?' the question their asking requires an answer from a Year 12 biology textbook.
DETASTE (de-TAYST) v. :
To harbour a deep hatred for a food you have never ever tasted.
Introducing new foods to kids is hard. Mostly because, despite never having tried them, they already hate them. Different shaped pasta? Not without a big showdown first. Again, this especially applies when I'm cooking dinner. Note however, that lunchtime is a totally different ballgame, when the kids will sit on my lap and happily eat whatever I've made for my own lunch - often leftovers of whatever they hated last night!
PHANTOMOLITION (fan-tum-o-LISH-un) n. :
When something gets broken, but nobody did it.
Actually, this rarely applies in our house. If you ask Ollie, then Pepi did it. If you ask Pepi, then the cat did it, or more recently, Papa is getting a lot of the blame.
BUNNYCOMB (BUN-ee-comb) v. :
To frantically search the house for your kid's favourite stuffed animal to avoid a meltdown.
Both kids here have one stuffed animal that their whole world revolves around. Its like a part of their body. Only its not attached, so they can lose it. And when they lose it physically, they lose it emotionally as well. So you'd better find that raggedy dirty cloth creature.
STOCKTEASE (STAHK-teez) n. :
A child who lets you buy vast quantities of their favourite food, then immediately decides they don't like it anymore.
The four bags of popcorn crackers in the draw here attest to this. I remember doing this as a kid. However, I also remember referring to my father as a garbage disposal - nothing unwanted ever got wasted in our house!
ADRENELAD (ad-DREN-uh-lad) n. :
A child who will never ever under any circumstances admit that they are tired and ready for bed.
Pepi is like one of those eveready batteries that just keeps going, and going, and going. Bedtime is a battle for five-more-minutes-please. Imagine my surprize when, babysitting a 3-year old girl the other night, she just got up and went to bed when she was tired, ten minutes before her bedtime. Amazing.
KIDDLES (KIDD-uhls) n. :
Crumbs and debris found in the creases of your car's upholstery when you remove your kid's car seat.
Cereal, half-sucked lollipops, snack foods, bits of paper, broken crayons, little lego people...car seats are both awesome at keeping kids safe, and hiding crap for you to discover under a layer of fur much further down the line.
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